I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
