like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
