That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
