so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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