after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
