He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
she smelled like a LAN party
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.