and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
