4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
