Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
