So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
