think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
