some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
