that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.