we have pet lesbian snakes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture