I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?