ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?