her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
porn star boner night. come get it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..