I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
