She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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