p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
