someone get that fucking seahorse.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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