oh god the rape fog is back!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
