We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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