I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
