i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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