I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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