I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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