Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
