I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
