I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
