I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize