what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
