maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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