kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
