Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
