Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
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Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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