I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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