Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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