After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
