I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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