Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
please don't ironically join a cult
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