i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
