I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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