I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
