): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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