Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
