She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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