Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
These tits shall not be calmed
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
