end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize