onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
