I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
