i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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