I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
