Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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