Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
