My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
