We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
