yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
