Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
