I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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