theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
