after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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