i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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