just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
