Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
MIDGETS
????
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
