Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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