i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize